Christmas Jokes and Riddles
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
Answer: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Answer: Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What was so good about the neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.
Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet of handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red. He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!" Without even looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It must be sleeting." The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. They'd been worn all week and needed the air.
Did you know that according to the song, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", Santa has eleven reindeer? Sure, in the introduction it goes "There's Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen..." That makes eight reindeer. Then there's Rudolph, of course, so that makes nine. Then there's Olive. You know, "Olive the other reindeer used to laugh..." That makes ten. The eleventh is Howe. You know, "Then Howe the reindeer loved him..." Eleven reindeer. The proof is in the song!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Mary!
Mary who?
Merry Christmas
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Chris!
Chris who?
Christmas!!!!
Question: What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?
Answer: A puddle!
Question: Where do reindeer go to dance?
Answer: Christmas balls!
Tongue Twisters
Seven Santas sang silly songs.
Tiny Timmy trims the tall tree with tinsel.
Santa's sleigh slides on slick snow.
Bobby brings bright bells.
How many deer would a reindeer reign if a reindeer could reign deer?
Running reindeer romp 'round red wreaths.
Kris Kringle chose to climb the chimney at Christmas.
Chilly chipper children cheerfully chant.
Two trains travel together to Toyland.
Eleven elves licked eleven little licorice lollipops.
Santa's sack sags slightly.
Ten tiny tin trains toot ten times.
Santa stuffs Stephie's striped stocking.
There's chimney soot on Santa's suit.
Comet cuddles cute Christmas kittens carefully.
Kris Kringle clapped crisply.
Paul's presents present perticular problems placed parallel to pink ponstias.
Hollie hangs holly here hopping happy holidays hurry.
Tree trimmers try to trim trees while Tracy tastes treats.
Wraping warped wreaths risks ruining weather wilted wood.
Youthful yeoman yodel yule yarns while yatching.
Santa seems seriously sick since Sally served sour salmon soup.
